Cultural Mindsets: Why You're Still Single

First and foremost, let me bring attention to the word "average." Average indicates a norm, a requirement and an expectation; therefore, the average woman is a woman who follows the norm, society's requirements and the expectations of other cultural-minded people.

The next time you're in a public place, take a moment and just notice the people around you. Notice how they dress, speak and behave. What you're witnessing is culture in action. Here's the thing: We often associate the word "culture" with foreign lands and foreign people because their cultures are taboo to us; nevertheless, the average American does not realize or acknowledge that he or she is in submission to culture. That's because in America (and many western countries), we attribute certain behaviors to certain economic classes and mindsets, rarely venturing out to understand that we are identifying the cultures of the people we see. If we were to acknowledge that the woman with the big hoop earrings, gold teeth protruding from her mouth and the loud voice was following a culture, we'd then have to recognize that we too have been submitting to a particular culture, and no one wants to admit this. After all, Americans are prideful people who want to believe that they are leaders, and are often offended by the idea that they are following someone else. Walk up to any man who dresses "hip" and talk about his style of dress, and what you'll see is that he will never admit to dressing like his favorite hip-hop artist. He'll say that he dresses the way he dresses because that's what he likes, but in truth, his mind was molded by the culture in which he is in submission to. Maybe he was raised in a certain area, or maybe he simply started listening to hip-hop, liked the culture and decided to take on the lifestyle and mindset of the artists he is channeling. The point is: He has submitted to a culture; meaning, he is a follower. He is a person who is too afraid to stand out, so he has chosen to fit in.

The average believing woman is single because she is in submission to culture; albeit, unknowingly. Her style of dress, choice of words, and lifestyle reflect the culture in which she is submitting to. Her friends are mirrored reflections of her mindset, and she often sees women who are unlike herself as strange, demonic, fake, beneath her or high-minded. For this reason, the church is divided, ripped into religious categories and often run by cultural-minded people who have created some imaginary bridge that's supposed to link their culture (worldly ways) to holiness (Godly ways). Of course, this bridge just does not and cannot exist.

The average woman not only submits to a culture, but she seeks to draw the attention and favor of the men who are submitted to that culture. Note: Your GOD-appointed husband is in submission to CHRIST, not culture; therefore, he cannot find you until you walk in holiness.  Needless to say, men oftentimes initiate cultural mindsets, and women usually follow along in hopes of drawing the attention of the men they are pursuing. For example, the hip-hop culture portrays women as sexual objects; therefore, women who are in submission to the hip-hop culture will often dress provocatively in order to draw the attention of the men following that culture. The women who choose not to walk around bearing their underexposed flesh will often have strong personalities and are very opinionated. In most cases, they are very intelligent women who have placed a greater value on their thoughts than their bodies. Instead of bearing their skin, they bear their minds in hopes of gaining the respect of the men following that culture. They also hope to draw the attention of the alpha male amongst their peers. The alpha male is the man who has earned the respect of many; a man who is admired by most of the people from his community. He is oftentimes a man who appears to be financially sound, culturally mature and overly confident. Needless to say, culture has taught that man to choose one "main" woman; all the while, engaging in sex with other women.

Another cultural mindset found in America and abroad is the mindset often found in wealthy people. Many of us have found ourselves fascinated with the lifestyles of the rich and famous, and Hollywood has capitalized on this fascination, often portraying wealthy people to be snooty, meticulous, uncaring and selfish. Nevertheless, wealthy people (just like poor people) can be good or bad, but wealthy Americans (just like poor Americans) do follow cultures set by other wealthy Americans.  The point is: Culture does exist in this country, and it runs most American households.

The average woman follows culture. A culture is nothing more than a tradition that has been established amongst a small or large group of people.  This tradition was set by others from within that group, and in rare cases, some cultures were developed by outsiders.  Cultures dictate the way we act, react, think and reason.  For this reason, cultural mindsets oppose GOD since HE has already provided a guideline for us to follow, and culture often goes against HIS WORD.  When you follow culture, you limit yourself to the people from within that culture.  Needless to say, in some cases, men from opposing mindsets (other mental cultures) will often pursue women from foreign mindsets or cultures, but this is usually done out of curiosity.  And like sexual desires, curiosity is often snuffed out once it has been fulfilled (satisfied).  Once a man's curiosity is fulfilled, he will likely end his relationship with the woman he was once curious about.

In every culture, there are many subcultures. Subcultures are cultures developed from the cultures that tower over or influence them; for example, hip-hop is considered a subculture. Hip-hop first developed in the 1970s, and it was a way for urban youth to express their hardships through music. Of course, not everyone living in urban American embraced hip-hop. Some people were against it, but many young people were for it. Hip-hop was believed to be developed in Bronx, New York and a Jamaican man named D.J. Kool Herc has been recognized as one of its founding fathers. Hip-hop provided many oppressed Americans a voice that demanded to be heard, but because it stemmed from an ungodly culture (poverty), hip-hop is ungodly music. It encourages its followers to dress, speak and live a certain way, and of course, it is always easy to differentiate a person who's in submission to hip-hop culture from a person who is not in submission to it...even if they were raised in the same house. Because cultures are traditions and traditions are man-made, it's safe to say (not assume) that hip-hop, like so many other cultures, is ungodly.  
Mark 7:8: For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do.
Colossians 2:8: Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.

How has following culture affected your walk with GOD and extended your wait for Mr. GOD-ordained?  It's simple.  Whenever you submit to culture, you are outside of the will of GOD, and therefore, cannot receive what's in HIS will for you.  It is HIS will that you be saved, sanctified and filled with the HOLY SPIRIT.  It is HIS will that you be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  It is HIS will that you have life and you have it more abundantly.   It is HIS will that the windows of Heaven be opened for you, and that HE pours out a blessing upon you that you don't have room enough to receive.  It is HIS will for many of us to be married to our GOD-appointed spouses, but anytime we follow culture, we are forced to choose between what GOD is offering (sanctification, or in other words, to be set apart) or what our peers expect from us (like-mindedness/ cultural submission).  GOD told us not to revel (party/ drink).  HE told us to forsake evil communications; HE told us to separate ourselves from gossips and slanderers, and HE told us not to fornicate.  But the problem that arises is our cultures demand that we fit in, and if we don't, we stand to lose relationships with the people we love the most (family, friends and the like).  By not fitting in, we run the risk of being labeled high-minded, judgmental, prideful, demonically possessed, or just plain stupid.  Most people fit in because they're too afraid to stand out, and at the same time, when we fit in, we get to hang out with and climb the ranks of like-minded people.  Within each group of people (like mindsets), there are positions open for leaders, sub-leaders (drones/ assistants), and followers; therefore, many women find themselves submitting to a culture, and then, they strive to find their places from within those cultures.

The average believing woman thinks that she can force or persuade GOD to submit to the culture she's in submission to.  Because of her spiritual immaturity, she thinks that there is a happy medium between worldliness and holiness, and many worldly leaders today are rising up and giving her hope.  From the pulpit, they channel the hip-hop culture, the redneck culture and the overly-tattooed biker gang culture.  From the pulpit, they speak of right things seasoned with wrongs, and many women have been deceived with their eyes wide open because they don't want to believe that they will have to shed the dead flesh of who they are to walk in the holiness GOD has called them to become.  When some worldly leader comes out and speaks of GOD in their ears, they turn off discernment and immediately begin to look for their places from within the culture that the leader is channeling.  Holiness isn't popular, but the ungodly traditions of men are.

Now, imagine this: GOD has dressed up a remnant for himself: men who have not submitted to this world and its cultures.  GOD has raised up Godly men for such a time as this, and to each man, HE has assigned a help meet...only, each man has to find his wife by seeking the depths and mysteries of the Kingdom of GOD.  That's because Godly women are more precious (and rare) than the most expensive jewels, and they must be covered, protected and provided for.
These men love and fear the LORD, and they have absolutely no desire to fit into this world.  They don't follow the hip-hop culture, but will openly speak against it just as they speak of every ungodly culture that GOD gives them the green light to speak of.  These GOD-fearing men have studied and shown themselves approved.  Now, with all of the single, Christian women sitting in the churches every Sunday, you'd think that a Godly man would have no trouble finding a wife.  But that's the problem.  GOD didn't assign him "a" wife; HE assigned him his own wife.
1 Corinthians 7:2: Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

In order for a man to find his own wife, she must be in the will of GOD.  In order for a man to love his own wife, she must be his and his alone.  Many cultures encourage promiscuity; thus, encouraging women to join themselves to multiple men before committing themselves to one man in marriage.  Needless to say, many married women approach the altar not knowing that they are married, and because of this, their homes were already divided from the moment they exchanged vows with their spouses.  Know this: GOD will never send HIS son to marry a woman who's already married, regardless of whether her marriage is legal or illegal.

So, why are you still single?  Here are a list of common issues that hinder believing women:

1. Ungodly soul ties.  Many women are still married to the men from their pasts because they haven't repented of those relationships and asked the LORD to sever those soul ties.  Needless to say, if you're tied to another man, GOD won't send you a husband, seeing as it is that you are already married.
2. Unforgiveness.  The average woman has let the sun set on her wrath one too many times.  A woman in unforgiveness is a woman who is imprisoned by her own hatred, and is therefore, not free to marry.
3. Submission to culture.  When you submit to a culture, you will draw the attention of the men who are in submission to that culture.  All the same, you cannot submit to GOD and to culture.  You have to choose who you will serve.
4. Mindsets.  Not all mindsets are cultural.  Some mentalities are the manifestations of heart conditions that were developed through the lack of knowledge, demonic doctrines, or while we were in our wilderness experiences.  Wrongful thinking not only repels the blessings and favor of GOD, but wrongful thinking drives away any opportunity that a woman will be found by her GOD-appointed husband.
5. Fear of change.  Many women refuse to let GOD renew their minds because they are afraid of change.  When GOD delivered them from those friends who didn't have their best interests in mind, they went back and reconciled those friendships.  When GOD revealed to them the hearts of some of the people in their families, they twisted HIS WORD and attempted to use it against HIM in an attempt to justify remaining as they were.  For this reason, many women find themselves building permanent homes in temporary mindsets, and GOD will never send HIS sons into the wilderness to fetch their brides.

Needless to say, culture is oftentimes the root of our ungodly soul ties, unforgiveness, mindsets and fear of change.  We have to break away from cultural mindsets in order to embrace the renewed thinking that CHRIST has afforded us.  We can't keep old mindsets and merge them with renewed thinking, otherwise, our thinking would remain perverted.
Luke 5:37: And no man putteth new wine into old bottles; else the new wine will burst the bottles, and be spilled, and the bottles shall perish.

Consider Ruth.  Ruth was born into a pagan kingdom, but she married a Benjamite from the tribe of Israel.  When Ruth's husband died, she had a choice: She could return to her land and serve the pagan gods that her people were serving, or she could remain with Naomi and serve the one and true living GOD.  Sure, they had culture at that time, and the culture dictated that a near kinsman (male closest to the deceased husband) take the wife and raise children for the deceased through the wife.  This culture wasn't developed by man; it was Old Testament law.  Regardless of where Ruth came from, she decided to never look back, but to keep moving forth with the people of GOD.  She chose to follow Jewish tradition, and because she did, she is one of the few women who has a book named after her in the Bible.  She was the example of love, loyalty and faith.
What culture are you following?  Will you embrace the love of GOD and dare to stand out in a time when it's unpopular to do so?  Will you stand blameless through the criticisms, persecutions and the lies thrown at you by men and women who are offended with you because of your faith in GOD?  Will you step outside of a man-made culture and learn to walk by faith and not by sight?  If you want to be found by your GOD-appointed and anointed husband, you have to do these things, otherwise, you may get married...but you won't marry the man GOD chose for you.

If you want to be found by your GOD-appointed spouse, or more than that, to be found in the will of GOD, you have to step outside of the word "average" so that GOD can transform you into the peculiar woman HE'S called you to be.  This means that you come outside of what you know to embrace a renewed mind because renewed thinking is what's going to attract your husband.  Many women keep trying to attract their GOD-appointed husbands with their adorned flesh or unchanged minds, but instead of attracting Mr. Right, they end up attracting Mr. Right Now: a dark and sexually frustrated character who simply wants to entertain himself before retreating back to his religious cave to regroup.  Know this: Culture will only take you as far as its leader, and if you research many of the pioneers (celebrities) behind some of these cultural movements, you'll find that they are either six feet under, on drugs, in line for destruction as evidenced through their prideful ways (see Proverbs 16:18) or so demonically possessed that they no longer know right from wrong.  Don't follow culture...follow the WORD of GOD.  You have no idea of what GOD has in store for you, and I suspect that if you did, you'd happily stay in HIS will and surrender your whole heart, soul and spirit to HIM without reservation.
1 Corinthians 2:9: But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

Culture is man's way of saying that he has another way towards the blessings of GOD, but CHRIST said that HE is the way, the truth and the life, and no man comes to the FATHER except by HIM.  There is no "other way" to GOD or the blessings of GOD.  If CHRIST is the truth (which we know HE is), then culture is an unspoken lie.  You have to follow and submit yourself to the WORD of GOD to receive your inheritance from GOD; otherwise, you'll be like the "average" woman, and find yourself standing in an invisible, cultural line waiting for some average man to crown you with a title he's created from his lusts (girlfriend, adulteress, friend with benefits, concubine).  Your GOD-appointed husband is not average; he is peculiar, and therefore, can only find you if you forsake "average" and step into who you really are.